Billy’s Presidental Debate Game

Posted by on Oct 16, 2012 in 2012 Campaign, Culture | No Comments

Tonight the candidates meet for a second time at Hofstra University for a 90-minute debate moderated by CNN’s Candy Crowley. Bill in Portland Maine over at Daily Kos has come up with the rules for tonight’s drinking (and eating) game. Here they are:

  • Start with a clean gullet by guzzling a Paul Ryan-sized glass of water and then shouting “I have six studies!!!”
  • Take a swig for each element of the stage design that’s red, white or blue.
  • On a sheet of paper (papyrus if you’re a traditionalist), create a word cloud of the debate in real time. Be accurate, because it’s a document your family will rely on for generations.
  • Knock back a shot every time a person asking a question is told to “speak closer into the microphone, please.”
  • Eat a handful of Cheetos (or the snack of your choice) every time Obama or Romney says “We must go back to,” “We can’t go back to,” “Didn’t work,” “Won’t work,” “Can’t work,” “Will work,” “We tried that,” “You tried that,” “They tried that,” “No one tried that,” “Expect the same result,” “Expect a different result,” “Must go down that path,” or “Can’t go down that path.”
  • When the President successfully debunks a Romney lie (and he will have many from which to choose), nibble one color off a piece of candy corn. When you’ve nibbled off all three colors, help yourself to a pumpkin made out of the same stuff as candy corn. (Spoiler Alert: candy corn is people!!!!)
  • If the topic of climate change/global warming comes up, open your window and yell, “Holy shit! They’re finally talkin’ about the planet!!!!”
  • Take a li’l nip from the flask strapped to your ankle if someone walks in the room and says, “Hey, whatcha watchin’? Oh, god, is that thing still on?”
  • If you suddenly realize that you missed a chunk of the debate because you were liveblogging, liveblog about it.
  • If Paul Ryan shows up to do your dishes, make sure they’re good and dirty. Also take several swigs so you can tolerate him being in your house.

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