Bite 1: Whoa, I think I just caught a crispy bite of pancake edge. That’s like the holy grail of pancake edges! That’s a good start.
Bite 2: OK, there’s not so much cheesecake in here, but it was weirdly, obviously squeezed on, like with one of those caulk guns Taco Bell uses for its “sour cream.” It tastes pretty good, though. Kinda tangy, kinda creamy. But man, that strawberry syrup is glowing lava red. And the crispy edge was pretty short-lived.
Bite 3: I never really want to eat as many pancakes as people will put on a plate, but this isn’t so ba… muh … exxxxcushe me, I jusht hit a geysher of cheeshcake. I can’t really open my mouth. It’s shtuck. Maybe forever.
Bite 4: Water, water, water. Clean it out. Focus. Concentrate. Oh look! I forgot about my side of sausage!
After you have this “gut bomb” for breakfast do you head to KFC and order a couple Double Down for lunch? And what the heck do you have for dinner after those two meals. A couple pizzas? No wonder Americans are so darn obese.