When Amazon Reviews Go Wrong (In A Good Way)

Posted by on Jun 24, 2008 in Humor | No Comments

Denon actually sells, and if you are not an audiophile I am not joking, a $500 CAT5 Ethernet cable (1.5 meters long). Snarky customer reviews on Amazon are nothing new, but this might be the best by a long shot. Just a few select comments:

Holding this cable in my hands actually makes me feel that much closer to the Lord Jesus Christ. I only make $6.25/hr at Jack In The Box, but I saved up for three months so I could have this cable. It sits in a shrine I constructed next to my futon in Mother’s basement.

The first time I downloaded a picture to the printer over this cable, the bits moved so fast the printer collapsed into a naked singularity, right there in my office.

I accidentally dropped one end of my Denon cable into a glass of Tuscan whole milk I was drinking. Later when I finished my milk (yeah, I still drank it; should I not have done that?), my right arm (lost in an accident in 1987) spontaneously grew back. Is that normal?

After I took delivery of my $500 Denon AKDL1 Cat-5 uber-cable, Al Gore was mysteriously drawn to my home, where he pronounced that Global Warming had been suspended in my vicinity.

If Denon had captured the Divine light of creation and distiled it into 1.5 meters of ultramegaradioactive copper, it could not have been better than this cable. Just holding the packaging it comes in, I can see distant galaxies and, though you may not believe it, hear what the aliens there are thinking.

I think Monster will probably sue because they came up with the original idea of ripping off the public and now Denon is stealing their concept.

[Found via Boing Boing]

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